The Pita Bread Christmas Trees mentioned in the article are adorable. And, will be featuring in my Christmas menus.
The article mentioned Susan’s Party Loaf which is this gorgeous looking thing
However, if you are going down that route you could also try this very pretty version from Betty Crocker. You really know you’re taking a ride on the way-back machine when you have a completely gratuitous use of food colouring!
Betty Crocker Party Loaf
And the Madras Cocktail ? Take a look at this piece of awesomeness…
Madras Cocktail
Don’t drink them all they say? Who are they kidding? The recipe which is here
put me in mind of the old Dorothy Parker quote:
“I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I’m under the table,
after four I’m under the host.”
This thing might not just knock your socks off, it could take your ankles with it.
I can’t wait to try it!
So what retro treats are you all planning for Christmas?
Remember way back when I made the Spaghetti Bolognese that had the chicken livers in it? You know, “the best Bolognese ever” that prompted me to implement the “Don’t ask, don’t tell rule?” into all future cooking ventures? Well, it happened again this week with the Almost Emerald and Ruby Fruit Salad, and we’ll definitely go there but first….
Topaz and Ruby Fruit Salad
You might be looking at the above picture and wondering why the featured item is called an Emerald and Ruby Fruit Salad. Because emeralds are green right? Any fool knows that. And, you might assume that, this is one of those quirks of vintage cookbooks that I would normally mock mercilessly.
Unfortunately, wrong and wrong.
Sometimes, the fault lies entirely with me. I’ll pause while you pick your jaws up off the floor. But just to prove a point, let’s count all the ways I failed to notice a fairly crucial part of Nancy Spain’s recipe for Emerald and Ruby Fruit Salad.
1 The name. Emeraldand Ruby.
2 Nancy also very kindly provides a picture of said Emerald and Ruby fruit salad. And even more kindly, it is one of the pictures in the all colour cookbook that is in glorious technicolour. And yep, it’s green.
Emerald and Ruby Fruit Salad
3 The recipe quite clearly states that layer 1 consists of lime jelly and strawberries.
4. Emeralds are green. Even failing all of the above. Logic would dictate that the Emerald layer of the Emerald Fruit Salad would be green.
So, given all that and that I trotted all the way to the shops and bought some lime jelly specifically to make my Emerald and Ruby Fruit Salad, how on earth did I manage to use lemon i.e. yellow jelly in the first layer?
I know . I was astounded at my level of dumbfuckery too. Feel free to roll your eyes and face palm as much as you want. I deserve it. But once you’re done, let me introduce you to my…(erm..just hold on a moment whilst I google yellow gemstones….) highly delicious Topaz and Ruby Fruit Salad.
Topaz and Ruby Fruit Salad
It still looks pretty but…doofus mistake right? It also then really threw me for the second layer. I had lime jelly left. But, now the recipe called for lemon jelly. Dilemma – use the lime jelly and hope it turns out ok? Or head back down to the shops and buy some more lemon jelly? In the end, I bought more lemon jelly. I figured the avocado, mayo and salt combo was going to be enough of a sell even using the correct recipe. Who knew what would happen if I threw the lime into the mix?
Topaz and Ruby Fruit Salad
So, now to the next part of this saga.
I live with the fussiest eater in the world. And high on the lengthy list of foods he doesn’t eat are avocado and mayonnaise.
So, I was kind of surprised to get a phone call at work on Monday, after making this on Sunday.
“You know that jelly thing?”
“Uh huh”
“I saw you put the avocado in”
Fuck it. Now I”m going to have to eat the whole thing myself. I’m going to be eating jelly until Easter.
“But I took some to work to have for snack and…it’s surprisingly good. What else is in there?”
Oh…ermm…jelly. Lemon Jelly.
“Just lemon jelly and avocado?”
Yeah..pretty much…bit of lemon juice…
“Wow…who knew…it’s really good”
Good. I’m glad you like it.
I’m going to hell. I really am. But you know, it also kind of proves my point. Tonight if I served up a salad containing avocado and mayo, it would be left on the plate. And he would probably eat two slices of the Emerald and Ruby Fruit Salad for dessert to make up for it.
Artichokes didn’t feature on the menu when I was growing up. I’m also not overly fond of the ones you get in the deli which taste more of the vinegar they come in that anything else. So, I had actually never eaten a fresh artichoke until last year…I‘m not sure what prompted me to buy some because let’s face it, they’re not an attractive proposition.
Water Lily Lamb Salad
I don’t mean the way they look, that’s awesome – the amazing colours, the gorgeous mix of purple and green and their sculptural shape…
They are almost like something that should be in should be in a bouquet rather than on your plate and, just to prove that point, here’s one I prepared earlier….
Artichoke-Kale-bouquet
Gorgeous. And functional. If you get a little peckish…pull off a leaf and have a nibble. Win. Win.
So, when I say they are unattractive, what I really mean is that they are hard work.
Imagine trying to explain the artichoke to someone from another planet…
“Well you’ve got to trim off the leaf tops with scissors, then brush them with lemon so they don’t go brown”
Yeah but if you didn’t cut them, you wouldn’t have to…
“Never mind about that. Then you have to scrape out the choke…
Scrape out the what?
“The choke…it’s kind of a hairy bit at the bottom…”
It has a hairy bottom? And you EAT this?
Uh Huh.
Removing the choke
Why’s it called a choke?
Not sure but if you don’t remove it all sometimes the fuzz can get caught in your throat and apparently it can be very painful.
Oh my God. This hairy bottom vegetable wants to kill you. You humans are bonkers. Anyone else would run a mile from this thing…There’s no way I”m eating that. Might come in handy as a weapon though…
Ok, so I”ll just dip these deliciious leaves in melted butter and eat them myself shall I?
What?
That’s a traditional way of eating them. You dip them in melted butter and then you drag ’em through your teeth…
Why aren’t more foods dipped in melted butter? As far as I can ascertain the only things that are regularly dipped in butter are artichokes and lobsters both which are pretty good anyway. Why aren’t we doing this with some of the revolting stuff (beetroot springs to mind) to make it taste better? I guarantee more people would like Brussels Sprouts if they came liberally doused in melted butter. Just saying.
Anyway I digress. You know what is also good? Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens…but a few more of my favourite things are mayonnaise, lamb and capers.
And all of these delicious things can be found in the Nancy Spain recipe for Water Lily Lamb Salad. And this time, I really did prepare one earlier….
Water Lily Lamb Salad 2
Apart from the cutest name ever, the Water Lily Lamb Salads are pretty damn good and would make a great starter for a springtime lunch. It’s such a lovely way to present the meal as well…albeit, I cooked my artichokes for the full 25 minutes as recommended by Nancy and they kind of fell apart, hence my slightly awry water lillies in the photos! Tasted great though. Still, I’ll cook them a lot less next time. You could sub in chicken for the lamb as an equally deliciious variant. Or an egg salad would be incredible…
And, if you needed any further incentive to eat artichokes, Marilyn Monroe was crowned the Artichoke Queen Of California in 1947. And look where it got her…
No, not dead of a barbiturate overdose at the tender age of 36…wow, you people are cynical…
Marilyn Monroe – Artichoke Queen
I”m going to be spending my week hanging around greengrocers, waiting to be crowned queen of something.
Then again…why limit myself to produce when I can crown myself
