As I enter week two of Paleo, there is one recipe that I made earlier this year that is lingering in my mind as containing pretty much all the sins of Paleo but all the glories of delicious food. Funny, the things I thought I would be craving – coffee, chocolate, hummus…not so much…but if you put one of these in front of my right now, I would step on you to get one.
I found this recipe in the same folder I found the recipe for the Smoked Trout Empanadas.I’ve changed it a bit to include the chili and the original chopped the salami and mozzarella and mixed them together.
I’m not sure if the lure here is:
The gooey, melty cheese
The crispy breadcrumbs
The spicy salami
The silky sauteed eggplant
The slighty sweet tomato sauce
The little hit of chilli
Or all of the above
But believe me, the sirens are singing this song loud and strong. And you will be too if you make them. So crispy, so cheesy, so gooooood….
I’m not going to say much this time (because I might cry). I’m just going to let the pictures speak for themselves.
Eggplant Salami Sandwiches 2
Eggplant and Salami Sandwiches 3
Eggplant Salami Sandwich 4
Eggplant Salami Sandwich 5Eggplant and Salami Sandwiches 6
As a group we decided that our December book club option would be “healthy”. We had three options to choose from – a gluten-free, sugar-free, dairy-free dessert book – yeah I know…why bother right? The second was tempting. It was a book espousing the benefits of the alkaline diet. I was utterly sold on the health benefits then I read that the book was endorsed by Victoria Beckham. I refuse to take recipe endorsements from someone who looks like they haven’t eaten in the last 15 years, so, the only choice for me this time round was Paleo
Plus, I have a teeny tiny secret crush on Pete…just try take a deep look into those baby blue eyes and tell me I’m wrong. Bad move. You would have had a much better chance to point out that the mouthwateringly super delicious kebab he’s holding is made from beef heart. Yecchhh…
Come back Posh Spice, all is forgiven.
Then again, he has lovely white teeth too.
So, via a process of reasoning that was basically…I’d rather eat the pages of the book..posh spice…you’re hot…I’m going paleo. And in the words of those modern-day philosophers George Michael and Andrew Ridgeley
If you’re gonna do it, do it right”
I’m doing this all the way. Two weeks of paleo meals should be enough for me to judge the book and the diet. And you know paleo should be easy, it’s meat and veggies right?. Which is pretty much what I already eat. This is going to be great!!!! I can’t wait…
One Week Ago
Dear Paleo Diary,
You don’t mind of I call you Pete do you? It makes feel like I’m actually talking to you. Ok, now I don’t want to sound like some whiny little bitch right from the start but I thought this was supposed to be meat and veggies.
So how come I have just spent a small fortune buy a ton of stuff, some of which I had never ever heard of?
Buckwheat
Linseeds
Slippery Elm Powder
Chia Seeds
Maca Powder
Pau D’arco Capsules
Goji Berries
Cacao Powder
They refused to sell me the magnesium chloride I needed for the cashew turmeric spread. They said they sell it as bath salts and they could not condone me eating it.
WTF Pete? Seriously. What? The? Fuck?
And for the love of hopscotching Jesus:
Macadamia Nuts
Almonds
Cashews
Pine Nuts
Pepitas
Sunflower Seeds
Do you have any idea how much all that is going to cost? And that’s just for the muesli.
If I turn over the next page and you tell me I also need to buy quinoa, I’m going to find you and punch you right in your pearlywhite teeth.
Twice.
Once for the quinoa. Once for calling your daughter Chilli. Can we all just get over the foodie people naming their children after ingredients? They’re children. Not recipe inspirations.
Bastard.
Saturday.
Dear Pete,
My shopping bill for the week is DOUBLE what is normally is. But my seeds and nuts are soaking for my muesli and crackers.
Paleo Seed Cracker Mixture Post Soaking
I’m on top of this.
I did buy another book on Paleo because I found your breakfast and work lunch options a little limited. Also, I looked into making some of your cultured or fermented vegetables. They take a minimum of two weeks to ferment so that’s not happening. I have some kimchi in my fridge. That will have to do.
Getting worried. How will I survive without my basic food groups – cheese, chocolate and chickpeas? What about booze? Is that Paleo? Surely those cavemen were fermenting something? And now we come to one of the problems I am having with this Paleo diet thing. Everyone seems to have their own idea of what is and isn’t allowed.
A couple of sites I looked at were kind of ambivalent about alcohol. They were a little bit like…well, you really shouldn’t but if you feel you must then some choices are more Paleo than others. Other sites? Absolutely forbid it.
Same with bacon.
Really, annoyingly same with the buckwheat which is now soaking for my crackers and muesli….
Bastard.
Sunday
Pete, you gobshite,
I already hate this. And it’s only Day One. Woke up dying for a cup of coffee.
Coffee is another one of those yes / no / maybe items on Paleo.
I had bought almond milk for my muesli so I was good for the dairy.
Turns out coffee with almond milk and no sugar sucks. Bye bye coffee, it was fun knowing you.
I put my crackers in the oven, where they needed to cook for 6-8 hours and tootled off to Body Balance class. BTW – they looked disgusting. Overnight they had gone all gelatinous and gloopy. See the photo above.
Back from Body Balance and quite hungry. However, my crackers still have another seven hours to cook and don’t get me started on the muesli.
Breakfast
A slice of ham
Half an avocado
A peach.
The muesli is a hot mess. Pete, you say to dry the soaked nuts and seeds with paper towel or a dish cloth. Problem is, the chia has gone all to jelly and sticks to everything Eventually I decide to put the nuts in the oven with the crackers to dry them out,
Lunch
A slice of ham
Half an avocado
A handful of almonds.
3:00pm
The crackers are done and they are awesome. The muesli ingredients are still wet. Decision time. I can cook some Paleo muffins from the other book so I will have something for breakfast tomorrow.
Paleo Seed Crackers2
But then the nuts will need to come out of the oven because they need to cook at 50º. And the muffins need to cook at a normal temperature.
4:00pm
Nuts out, muffins in. If sounds like some vague sexual innuendo so be it. I’m too hungry to care.
5:00pm.
The muffins are good. Well they would have been, if I could have tasted them. I ate the first one so quickly I burnt all my taste buds off.
Breakfast Muffins
5:30pm
Have started making the Lamb Harira which will be my lunch for the next few days. Quelle surprise the buckwheat needs to soak overnight and the soup needs to cook for four hours.
NOT. FUCKING. HAPPENING.
The buckwheat is going to soak for considerably less than that. At which time it will be added to the soup. According to some websites I shouldn’t even be eating it anyway. The only reason I’m even bothering with it is that I had to buy it specially so there is no way I’m not using it.
10:00pm
The harira is ready. It’s a bit more like a stew than a soup, I think the buckwheat sucked up some of the liquid. Tastes pretty damn good though. Mind you, a wet paper bag would taste good about now.
11:00pm
The m****er f***king muesli is still not dry.
I’m fed up and I’m going to bed.
Best thing I’ve eaten all day was the muffins. And they came from the other book.
Breakfast Muffins 3
Bastard. I hate you. And your baby blue eyes.
PS. They say one the side effects of the Paleo diet is a certain crankiness. Thank goodness I haven’t experienced anything like that and I am still my sweet and sunny self.
Have a fabulous week. And eat some cheese and hummus for me!!!
A few weeks ago Jenny at Silver Screen Suppers invited her readers to celebrate the launch of her book of Joan Crawford recipes by taking part in a cookalong. I was so excited to be a part of this and I set Melbourne Cup Day as the day because strangely enough, I was going to be at the races on the actual day.
Jenny very kindly provided us with three of Joan’s recipes. One was for Crepes Suzette. Having recently had Crepes Suzette expertly cooked for me at the Lotus Blanc in Cambodia, I thought I might give this a miss. I wasn’t sure my attempts at flipping and flaming would compare. However, I was well and truly up for the other two, starting with
Joan’s Crawford’s Danti-Chips
Joan Crawford’s Danti-Chips
I was so excited about these. I was even more excited when the jars of devilled ham were two for one at the local supermarket.
And then, dear readers, I made a newbie, amateur, doofus mistake. Because logic should tell you that when you are confronted with a jar of pink paste called Devilled Ham, you just need to accept that all it contains is ham and…other….stuff. Don’t ever go wondering what that other stuff might be. For the love of all that’s good in the world….
DO NOT EVER READ THE LABEL ON THE BACK OF THE JAR OF DEVILLED HAM.
And yes, I am shouting at you. Because it was over a week ago and I still feel sick thinking about it. And you know, Deviled Ham was one of my pleasures in life. Admittedly not high on the list but it was there. And now it has gone. Forever. Just like Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.
I’m not going to tell you what was in it. Just don’t read the label. Even though now you really want to. I know you do. do not give into the temptation. Imagine that jar of Peck’s Paste is local Nazi Colonel and you are an oversexed French Cafe owner hiding some English airmen and a priceless painting of The Fallen Madonna with The Big Boobies and resist!
(And if you had absolutely no idea what that last bit was about, your parents obviously didn’t watch enough British sit coms during your formative years….
You can find out more about that particular tangent here:
So anyway, I chose the vegetarian option. I used a mushroom and spinach tapenade for my chips. He had the devilled ham, Far be it from me to spoil anyone’s enjoyment of life the way mine has been destroyed. Plus, we have two jars of it to get through. Ignorance? Bliss.
These do look really pretty though don’t they? And they tasted really delicious. I added some chopped up pickled chillies to my pickle garnish and they went really well with the other flavours as well as adding a little colour.
Danti-Chips2
We ate these mid’-afternoon whilst watching the races. And believe me, it took no time at all for that plate to become this…
Where have all the Danti-Chips gone?
STEAK WITH ROQUEFORT
Later on in the evening it was time for the second of Joan’s recipes and….it’s making my mouth water even as I think about it.
Ooooohhhhh yeah…Steak with Roquefort come on down. (Although technically mine was Steak with Stilton as the local supermarket does not stock Roquefort).
Joan Crawford’s Steak with Roquefort
We had this with some kale and beans I also doubled up with a book club recipe and made the Turmeric and Cumin Potatoes from Persiana. Which were also super!
Steak with Roquefort
Persiana Turmeric and Cumin Potatoes
Meal to remember!!!!!
Steak and any sort of blue cheese is amazing. And Joan’s little twist with the….not telling…you need to buy the book to find out….is awesome!
Oh, and if, like me you happen to have some leftover corn chips from the Danti-Chips and some leftover roquefort mixture from the steak you can combine these with any leftover kale and some very finely chopped red onions to create a delicious spin on Nachos the night after!
Hopefully Joan would approve!!!
Thanks Jenny for the wonderful opportunity to be a part of this!!!! I loved the recipes and can’t wait to see the rest of the book!
I think it’s only fair this week to have the sign off to come from the lady herself. Have a fabulous week – maybe think about how you can add some old Hollywood glamour into your life. And buy Jenny’s book! If the recipes I tried are any reflection it will be awesome!!!
Ever have those moments where you take a good long hard look at yourself and wonder how on earth you ended up in a certain place? Where your life took that turn?
I had one of those tonight. And it wasn’t pretty. Unlike these Fruity Devils which we will get to in due course.
Fruity Devils1
So, let’s imagine my life as a movie. Not a very glamorous movie. But a movie nonetheless. We’ll start with a close up…
Eight o’clock Friday night and I am sitting alone. At home. Wearing a sweatshirt that had seen better days about five years ago and yoga pants. Well, that’s what the shop I bought them in called them. They may have never seen the inside of a yoga studio or known a down dog but technically they are yoga pants.
None of that is is the problem. He has a new job where he is working nights and I am perfectly comfortable both in my own company and with my attire.
So, lets draw the camera back and see where the problem may lie. Sitting on my lap is a plate of chopped up bananas smothered in peanut butter, wrapped in bacon and grilled. I had a grand idea to do a take on a Devils on Horseback and call it Elvis on Horseback. It didn’t really work…Anyway, bacon and peanut butter is admittedly not the healthiest combination on earth but it wasn’t that that had me cringing either. I count eating weird stuff as R&D. I’m eating it so you don’t have to! And you, know sometimes in this blogging lark you have to take the (super) crunchy with the smooth.
And boom!
That peanut butter gag was like the Spanish Inquisition. (Because no one expects the Spanish Inquisition).
I’ll stop now.
Maybe the problem will be apparent if we draw the camera back even further…
Yes, that is a very hefty glass of wine in front of me…could that be what has me in a such a state of consternation? Drinking alone? Am I worried about some incipient alcoholism /the state of my liver / my ability to get up and go the gym tomorrow morning?
No, no and resoundingly no. It’s Friday, it’s been a long, hard week and if a girl wants a drink in the privacy of her own home, she should be able to have one. Or two. Don’t judge me.
Peachy Devils with Pomegranate Molasses
So what it is? Why am I pausing for a moment of reflection? Not that I am alone at home on a Friday night, wearing let’s just call them “comfortable” clothes; not that I am eating a banana smothered in peanut butter then wrapped in bacon; not that I am drinking alone but that I am doing all of the above whilst watching a movie where Robert Pattinson is playing Salvador Dali.
What???????
Why?
WHHYYYYYYY???????
I really need to re-evaluate some of my life choices. I may need professional help. Or at the very least some movie recommendations….
Pineapple Devils
Who on God’s green earth thought that was a good idea? (Me apparently seeing as it was on my Netflix queue). But then again, I’m alone at home on a Friday night eating bacon, bananas and peanut butter! My judgement is at best questionable.
But apart from me, who else thought it was a good idea? It’s TERRIBLE. Well, to be honest, the film itself is probably not so bad. R Patz, however is more wooden than the stake that should have been driven through his cold dead heart in any one of the billion Twilight films.
Oh, God, why am I still watching it?
Make it stop…someone please make it stop!!!!!
And does anyone else think Vamp boy looks a lot like the Blackadder?
I have no idea what possessed me to pick that film. What is far easier to track is how I ended up thinking bananas and bacon were a good idea. The seed of THAT insanity lies within the book club. One of the ladies brought along one of her mother’s (?) Women’s Weekly cookbooks from the early sixties. It was AWESOME. And whilst I really wanted to just grab it and run….I contented myself with flicking through the pages.
Which is when I saw the recipe for Jaffa Devils. Orange slices wrapped in bacon and grilled. Two ingredients, easy to remember. So I made them. They were ok. They weren’t the best thing I’ve ever eaten but they sure weren’t the worst! And it works in theory – bacon and orange mix well at breakfast…so why not in an appetizer? (Mind you, it’s that kind of thinking that leads to coffee flavoured scrambled eggs…and Little Ashes, which incidentally, STILL watching).
Jaffa Devils
The problem was, the Jaffa Devils became like a gateway drug. For a while there I was utterly obsessed with wrapping fruit in bacon. I kind of like it when food is both good and bad for you, bacon and fruit, peanut butter and celery, cranberry juice and booze..it’s the way o’ the world, yin and yang, toxifying and detoxifying in equal measure.
I wrapped peaches, pineapple, a tangelo…I couldn’t leave the citrus alone. And the banana. The banana was not good. The tangelo, like the orange, was a bit meh…..
The peach and the pineapple? OMG. Super. The Bacon and Peach Combo worked best with a sauce made from Pomegranate Molasses. By which I mean some Pomegranate Molasses poured into a bowl. But you could use some reduced Balsamic if you did not have the Pomegranate Molasses. The Bacon and Pineapple Devil worked with both a sweet chilli and a BBQ sauce.
Peach, Pineapple and Tangelo Devils
Pretty damn good, even if I do say so myself! And super easy and super quick to make as well.
In all honesty, give the banana and orange ones a miss. But do try the peach and pineapple. They are gold! And for some Dali gold, skip Little Ashes and watch this clip of the real Salvador Dali utterly bamboozling the folks on What’s My Line.
As in guess which bozo forgot to celebrate her own blog’s 2nd birthday on May 25th?
So, today we’re having a Belated (don’t worry, I promise I won’t capitalise every word that starts with a B) Birthday, (no really, I won’t) celebrating my second annivesary with food using the second letter of the alphabet. See what I did? Second year, second letter?
You’d think I planned it.
Maybe you should keep thinking that….I”m all for anything that makes me look better!!!
So anyway, it’s my birthday so let’s get this party started. And I’ve said it before, and no doubt I will say it again, (purely because I’ve got a bottle of the stuff that isn’t going to drink itself) a retro party isn’t a retro party without Parfait Amour. And any party is better with a blonde bombshell!
Nope not like this, the blonde bombshell I am referring too is a cocktail made with the aforementioned Parfait Amour. I’m not sure why it’s called a Blonde Bombshell as it comes out a gorgeous dusky pinky purple.
First Course – The Birthday Blonde Bombshell
It’s my party…cocktails count as a course….in my perfect world, we would skip main meals altogether. We would move from cocktails to fingerfood to dessert.
Wow!!! I think I may have found my Parfait Amour drink of choice. This was lovely!!! Sweet and florally and almost kind of musky…it reminded me a little bit of Turkish Delight…maybe it was the roses in the Parfait Amour. Very girly, very pretty. Easy to drink….hmmm….maybe getting rid of that bottle won’t be as hard as I previously thought!
Second Course – Bay Wrapped Bacon and Prunes
Bay Wrapped Prunes in Bacon3
This is basically a take on a Devils on Horseback. But wrapped in a bayleaf. And I added a little smear of my Strawberry Habanero Sauce to the bacon before wrapping it around the prunes.
Note for the unwary – grilling bay leaves makes your entire kitchen smell like you’ve been smoking marijuana. For about a week. Which is fine until you have a plumber come to fix your leaking tap and they ask you if you can score them some bud.
Bay Wrapped Prunes in Bacon
I barely even know what that means.
Despite that, you really can’t go wrong with these…salty, sweet, spicy, crispy…The bay leaves added a slight resiny flavour that was quite pleasant but prevented the bacon from getting really crispy which was slightly disappointing.
I served it them with some more of the strawberry habenero sauce. And the saltiness was a great foil to the sweetness of the Blonde Bombshell.
Bay Wrapped Prunes in Bacon2
Delicious!
But now to the piece de resistance. The dessert.
So….what’s better than a triple chocolate baby bundt?
A QUADRUPLE chocolate baby bundt.
And what’s better than a quadruple chocolate Baby Bundt?
A Quadruple Chocolate Chilli Baby Bundt!
Third Course – Quadruple Chocolate Chilli Baby Bundt
So, if you’re following me on Instagram you would have already seen me post my first experiment with the Spice Peddler’s Mexican Chilli Chocolate Cake Mix. That was a Chili Chocolate Cupcake with a Chilli Toffee Shard topped with Vanilla Icecream and my Strawberry Habenero Sauce. OMG, I thought this was the best thing ever…so, so good. The cake was fudgy and spicy and delicious, the vanilla icecream and chilli sauce worked together perfectly and the chilli toffee was a cute and quirky touch. Basically, this was me on a plate!!!!
Chocolate Chilli Cupcake with A Chilli Toffee Shard
Gahhh….so how do you top that?
Well, I found a recipe for a cake called a Tyroler in a Delicious Magazine and I had a little play with it. And came up with the Quadruple Chocolate Chilli Baby Bundt. I used the Spice Peddler Mexican Chilli Chocolate Cake Mix as my base and it was super delicious!
Quadruple Chocolate Baby Bundt 5
This was really good. Then again, how could it not be?
It had quadruple chocolate.
And a touch of chilli.
And walnuts.
And rum soaked sultanas.
And did I mention quadruple chocolate?
Quadruple Chocolate Baby Bundt3
So, it may have been belated but worth the wait because these were all awesome!!!!
I’ll try to be on time next year and if not, I can always repost this and rename it Birthday 3 – Cocktails, Canapés and Cake.
