If you are not already a fan and follower of Emily aka Yinzerella at Dinner is Served 1972, head on over and check out her latest post which features the Rolling Stones recipe for Hot Dogs on The Rocks that I mentioned in the Franks, Beans and a Saucer of Milkpost back in January.
And hats off to her, she’s a braver girl than me and actually made the recipe. To find out how it tasted and read all of her fabulous posts, click on the link below
I love bacon even though it was my undoing. I was a very happy vegetarian for two years in high school. If my mother is reading this, right about now, she will be having a little snicker to herself and muttering “Huh…The only vegetarian in the world who didn’t eat vegetables.” And there is a grain of truth in that. I did spend two years eating not much more than tomato and cheese sandwiches and the occasional omelette.
Until I was brought down by bacon.
(Cue dramatic music…wow, this could be turning into a Dan Brown novel).
I used to have tennis lessons, very early, every Sunday morning. The family that lived next door to the tennis courts would, without fail, have a fry up for breakfast every week. The smell of bacon would drift out over the tennis court in a haze of mouth-watering deliciousness. “Eat me, eat me, ” it taunted.
Over weeks of this, bacon came to represent so much more than a tasty breakfast dish, it became a symbol of a better life. The kind of life where, on Sunday mornings, people had leisurely cooked breakfasts and listened to Mozart and spoke French whilst doing the Sunday crossword in less than twenty minutes. It represented a glamour and sophistication utterly removed from my reality of huffing and puffing around a glorified field, still half asleep, wearing a polyester track suit that did not so much keep the cold out as keep the sweat in and having someone repeatedly yelling at me to hit a damn ball over a stupid net. I began to yearn for bacon in the same way I yearned for Paris and champagne and pink Sobranie cigarettes in one of those long cigarette holders like Audrey Hepburn’s in Breakfast at Tiffany’s.
I was a weird child.
Angels on Horseback – Ingredients
I have no idea whether the neighbours were the glamorous types I imagined them to be or a bunch of suburban lard-arses who are now appearing on The Biggest Loser so that their fat-clogged arteries can be given a second lease of life. I suspect the latter. If so, can I suggest that the producers of the show make them play tennis. At seven. On a Sunday morning. In winter. I’ll be lurking somewhere near by with a portable grill and a couple of rashers. Let’s see how they like it.
Anyway, I lasted about three months before I caved. One cold wintry morning I came home from said lesson. Mum asked if I would like my tomato and cheese sandwich plain or toasted.
“I want bacon” I snapped in the snotty way only a 16-year-old can. Then I stomped upstairs to my room and listened to The Smiths until mum called me back downstairs for a plate of lovely, lovely life-affirming B & E.
History lesson over. And that’s about all the history I can give you because the reasons oysters are linked with angels, prunes with devils and either wrapped in bacon is termed “on horseback” are lost in time. Maybe that could be the subject of the next Dan Brown… an obscure culinary term could lead Robert Langdon on a search that reveals the long hidden conspiracy behind whether Elvis really did die on his toilet. (If you’re reading this Brown, back off now. I know what you’re like. The Fried-Peanut-Butter and Bacon-Sandwich Code is mine.)
Angels on Horseback
Inspired by the Angels on Horseback recipe in The Party Cookbook I recently went on a bacon rampage and made three versions of this classic hors d’œuvre.
If you like it spicy, adding a dash of tabasco sauce to the Angels only makes them more delicious!
For Devils on Horseback, substitute Prunes for the Oysters above and leave out the paprika.
Devils on Horseback and Cheesy Devils on Horseback – Ingredients
For Cheesy Devils, stuff the prunes with Goat’s Cheese before wrapping in the bacon.
Devils and Cheesy Devils
Some people like to serve their Devils on Horseback with Mango Chutney. I’m not a big fan but I did have some Kashmiri Date Chutney in the fridge and this was quite nice as a dip for the Cheesy Devils.
Devils on Horseback with Chutney
These were all delicious and I would make them all again. In order my preference was Angels on Horseback, Cheesy Devils, then Devils on Horseback but I would not discount any of them.
I no longer desire the Sobranies, but Angels on Horseback with a Glass of champagne and the Sunday Cryptic crossword? C’est parfait!
I have a bone to pick with Louis Ferguson who wrote the Cocktail Party Section of the The Party Cookbook.
Let’s get one thing clear Louis. A cocktail party is called a cocktail party for one reason, and one reason only. And that is the presence of cocktails. So, by rights, given that your chapter contains absolutely no recipe for, or indeed barely a reference to, these alcoholic delights, it hardly warrants the title.
Whilst I’m on the subject – for any workplaces that happen to be reading? Wine and beer are not cocktails. Stop calling events where these beverages are served cocktail parties. It’s annoying and pretentious. Alternatively, keep the name and actually serve cocktails.
That I am even bothering to talking about Louis is because I wanted another chance to use this delight of 1970’s food photography.
Pineapple, Prawn and Parsley Pot
Unfortunately, Louis lets us down here too. In addition to not having any cocktail recipes he also does not offer any details on how to construct the Zig Zag Pineapple, Prawn and Parsley Pot.
What we are given, ad nauseam are Louis’ instructions for canapés – some of which you can see in the photo.
These include:
Spread a slice of toast with softened cream cheese. Cover the entire surface with drained sweet corn kernels. Press well onto the cheese. Cut into diamond shapes and garnish with small diamonds of red capsicum.
Spread a slice of toast with softened cream cheese. Cover with finely chopped red and green capsicum. Cut into diamonds with a wet knife.
Cut buttered toast into rounds with a one inch cutter. Cut thin slices of salami the same size. Place onto croûtes and garnish with three peas held in place by a dab of French mustard.
Cut buttered toast into rounds with a one inch cutter. Cut thin slices of beetroot the same size. Place onto croutes and garnish with halved cocktail onions
I’m sensing some trends here.. Oh, ok, here we go, something different…
Cut buttered bread into small crescents. Cut crescents from slices of mortadella sausage and place them on the croûtes. Garnish with “zig zags” of creamed butter.
Crescents and zig zags. Just when you thought the canapé could not get any better Louis gives us crescents and zig zags. Genius.
However this genius was short-lived. I suspect that by the bottom of the second page of canapé suggestions, Louis was pretty much phoning it in vis a vis:
Spread a slice of toast with mustard butter. Cut into rectangles and cover with several thin slices of cooked frankfurter sausage,
There’s no love in that suggestion. Cold frankfurters on cold toast is not the offering of a man passionate about his craft. It’s the offering of a man who has lost the will to live.
Louis also suggests that once you have assembled your bread-in-a-shape + protein + garnish that you then coat the entire combination in either aspic or a mixture of gelatine and chicken stock. He doesn’t actually explain why. I suspect it has something to do with making his readers and their cocktail party guests as miserable and life-loathing as himself.
Apparently, no booze, cold frankfurters, peas cemented to salami with mustard and a beetroot and pickled onion combo weren’t bad enough. Chicken-flavoured gelatine also needed be added into the mix. Yecchh!
The lack of cocktails has given me a thirst, I’m off to hunt down a tipple (or two) and work on the party food for next week’s post.
Hint…it contains bacon. Lots and lots of lovely bacon.
I had a dilemma this week. I was reading “The Party Cookbook” and found a recipe for a little dish called Osborne Oysters. Now, it just so happened that with the half dozen oysters we buy as a little treat each Saturday, I had all the ingredients on hand to make this dish.
But, let’s face it. Oysters aren’t cheap. And this recipe consisted of a few ingredients that I would never have put together – what if it tasted as bad as it sounded? On the other hand, what if it turned out to be a magical combination that would have the likes of Heston Blumenthal lamenting “Why didn’t I think of that?”
Just to be clear on what I was up against, here are the ingredients for Osborne Oysters:
Oysters Osbourne Ingredients
No, you don’t need to adjust your screen….that is an oyster, a banana and some Jarlsberg. Now you see my dilemma? My gut instinct is that those are three things that should never even be seen together (which is why one lives on the land, one in the sea and one on a tree) let alone combined into a dish. I was still torn though, a little Heston Blumenthal devil on my shoulder was urging me to do it. Then a tiny angel looking suspiciously like Marco Pierre White jogged my memory of a more recent seafood – banana melange.
Early in the current series of Masterchef: The Professionals, one of the candidates made a name for himself by serving Marco Pierre White a fish stew with a banana flavoured aioli.
That name was buffoon.
Marco described it as one of the worst things he had eaten. Ever.
So the big question. Did I make and eat Osborne Oysters?
Not on your life. I listened to my inner MPW and ate those oysters in my preferred fashion…with lemon, Worchestershire sauce and Tabasco. And they were delicious!
Oysters My Way
My preferred Oyster mix (although I don’t usually measure it out) is:
½ teaspoon lemon juice
3 drops Worchestershire sauce
1 drop Tabasco
Et Voila…down the hatch!
Oysters My Way – Good to Go
I always follow this up with some bread and butter. I have no idea why but Oysters make bread and butter taste even better than normal!
Oysters My Way With Bread and Butter
For anyone more stupid braver than me…here is the recipe for Osborne Oysters:
For everyone else, if you take one thing away from this week’s post it’s to always listen to your inner Marco.
We are suffering from a mini heatwave at the moment. You know it’s hot when your candles melt before you even light them!
It’s far too hot to turn on the stove, the oven, the toaster or even to move to the phone to order a pizza. So, instead of cooking this week, I thought I might take a little stroll through Anne Marshall and Elizabeth Sewell’s 1971 work “The Party Cookbook.” And why not? If there is a hell, I’m already well on my way there, so what’s the harm in setting my dial to mock and taking a few steps closer to the flames….
I don’t even know where to start in this feast of rich pickings. So I’m just going to let this picture speak for itself…because nothing screams party like this good time gal!
Elah Lowe’s Luncheon Party
This is Elah Lowe who wrote the Luncheon Party section of the book. Elah’s menu for lunch consists of Chicken Cacciatore, Noodles, Pears Vinaigrette, Cheese and something called Malakoff which sounds a bit like a tiramisu.
Elah has this to say about her luncheon menu
“The following menu is suitable for a special person one has invited to lunch, for any group with a guest speaker or for a party of friends 1. The luncheon suggested is light2 and interesting and can be prepared in advance, which is essential for the hostess who can then be with her guests. She can be relaxed and entertaining, rather than hot and flustered, in the kitchen.3”
So….pretty much any reason to hold a lunch then.
Quiche and salad are light. Chicken cacciatore and noodles? Not so much.
Elah might be good on lunches. She’s not so good on grammar. My understanding is that if you remove the clause separated by commas the sentence should stand. So, that last sentence would read, “She can be relaxed and entertaining in the kitchen”. Hmm…presumably getting stuck into the cooking sherry and cracking a few gags for the benefit of the vegetables. Meanwhile the guests in the dining room are trying not to reel from the shock of that wallpaper. No wonder Elah’s holding out a chair, she’s probably used to people staggering and feeling faint as they walk into the room. The curtains and matching table-cloth? Are just putting out the fire with gasoline.
Moving on to another party girl, let’s have a look at the Morning Coffee Party. This über babe is Enid Wells.
Enid Wells Morning Coffee Party
Enid tells us that the hostess of the Morning Coffee Party needs to:
“Make sure the coffee is piping hot. Percolated coffee is preferred by most people. Instant coffee is preferred by some people because of the short preparation time1. For a Morning Coffee Party, the hostess should be prepared to serve percolated coffee.”
The shrunken head of the last person who served me instant coffee is now hanging on my wall along with my bow, my arrows and my machete. Be afraid.
Enid also advises that:
“The food should be simple, varied in flavour, attractively presented but never elaborately decorated”
You got it there, sister. Rarely have I seen two more atrociously decorated cakes than the ones in this picture. What is going on with the cinnamon nut bun in the front? Did Enid just throw the icing at it? Also, it’s lopsided to say the least. The icing on the gingerbread in the mid-ground also leaves a lot to be desired….that’s one wobbly line….I dread to think what the other 3 sides look like if that’s the one they chose to show to the camera.
Wow! No sooner than the words “atrociously decorated cake” come out of my mouth than I turn the page and….oh boy….
Kangaroo Cake for a Children’s Party
I have never really understood the penchant for cakes shaped like animals.
“Here you are Grandma, have a bit of Skippy’s arse on a plate. We saved it specially for you….now, who wants an eyeball?”
Why would anyone choose to do that? It’s weird and gross.
That’s enough for today, there will be more, I’m only about a third of the way through the book.
I’m going to practice my newly discovered skill of making things happen just by saying them.
Must go, Ryan Gosling’s at the door… and bless him, he’s brought pizza.
